Our flight took off on time and lasted a mere one hour forty minutes, which was just about durable for Debra as she has an innate fear of sitting in an aluminium tube doing unnatural things such as flying. The helter-skelter landing at Verona airport didn't do anything to quell those anxieties though and I must admit to having one or two thoughts that she might actually be right about it as we were parallel to the ground hurtling towards us as we turned what seemed like 360 degrees. Once the wheels touched the runway safely all such thoughts went right out of my head forever.... Depending how hair raising our return flight is!
The attendants on our flight and coach journey must have taken their inspiration from reality TV programmes of the day. Firstly there was our ever so gay, ignorant and so far up his own arse flight attendant who had finger nails that any diva would be proud of and wouldn't be out of place on such shows as Big Brother or Airport. I know that our flight was only short but the speed he brought out the trolley's was mind boggling! My hand had only just recovered from its onslaught of squeezing and turning pink as the blood flowed back into its veins when the first trolley arrived touting booze, which was a very welcome sight indeed. Once our drop down tables had been suitably filled with extortionately priced alcoholic beverages doled out by the diva himself it rocketed along the isle dishing out this, that and the other to the bewildered holiday makers.
After a few gulps from the miniature can of lager the diva was there again, trolley in hand, looking down his pointy nose at us for being typical 'Brits On A Plane' types. He asked us if we wanted a complimentary meal to which I replied that we had payed thirty quid to be provided with food on the flight and he smirked as he told me that the only food is what he was dishing out and it was complimentary! It was a good job that my seatbelt was still attached and my tray full of booze as I wanted so much to punch his lights out! The so called meal consisted of some sort of congealed mush on a soggy roll, a KitKat (two fingers) and a dodgy bakewell tart flavoured oat bar, which could well have been used to mop up the Exon Valdise oil spill all those years ago and was probably produced around the same time. Being a captive audience and in need of something to soak up the alcohol I ate everything in front of me including the kids complimentary meals too. The bakewell tart bar lived up to my expectation and swelled up in my stomach soaking everything up.....no need for Diacalm tablets as yet!! The rubbish was collected in a whirlwind of over scented diva and plastic bin liner before the last morsel reached my gullet and the next trolley arrived selling all sorts of airline logo tat and god knows what else as it wasn't there long enough to notice!
Travelling over the Alps at thirty five thousand feet is an experience to behold and keep within your memory for many years to come. The sight of snow covered peaks poking through soft cotton wool like clouds was breathtaking and made me forget what I had just ate.
Once we had thankfully recovered all our luggage and walked out from the air conditioned arrivals hall into the baking oven of an Italian afternoon we found our coach and sat there sweltering waiting for the usual stragglers that were still stood at the carousel urging their bags to emerge from behind the rubber curtain. Everyone desperate for the engine to crank into life and the air conditioning to begin blowing life saving cool air over us. Eventually we were under way and the air was cooled sufficiently for us to be able to appreciate the beauty outside. The attendant was also very camp and obviously takes his inspiration from the tour guide on the Channel 4 Coach Trip programmes everything except the amount of hair on his head was similar. But he kept the crowd entertained while the coach travelled along the lakeside. Thankfully we were second drop off, which is a story for my next blog as I am becoming very dehydrated here by the poolside.
Thankfully wifi access is is perfect in the bars of the hotel. As if I ever doubted it would be so!!
Keep on looking for my blog and happy holidays.
No comments:
Post a Comment